human nature that when things are not happening the way we want, we try to take
actions in an attempt to change things. Some of these actions make an actual
difference. But the truth is that many actions may not significantly help us
achieve our goals, but do serve a purpose of calming us by allowing us to
pretend it’s making a difference.
For example, a man who is depressed because he hates his low-paying job might regain a sense of hope by sending out resumes and going on interviews. Alternatively, he might instead seek hope by purchasing a lottery ticket each week and fantasize about how winning might rescue him from his current situation. The first approach is likely to make a difference eventually. The second approach is almost impossible to make a difference.
There are many things infertile couples can do to help themselves get pregnant. Some couples only need be patient and wait for pregnancy to eventually happen. Others will require medical assistance. For couples who do not yet wish to take advantage of modern medical advancements, the most popular way for them to take action is to meticulously obsess about the timing of intercourse to try and coincide with supposed peak fertility times. But is this the best strategy?
Actually, for most couples, it’s NOT. For them, compulsively timing intercourse with the help of calendars, basal body temperature, cervical mucus awareness or ovulation detection kits serves more to placate them psychologically than to actually make a difference between pregnancy and no pregnancy. In some cases, being so obsessed about strict timing can even LOWER some couples' chances of conceiving by adding extra stress and decreasing their frequency of intercourse. Why is this true? The secret is as follows: Because your odds of conceiving on your peak day are not much different from your odds of conceiving on the day before that. I will elaborate on this more in future posts. Meanwhile, keep in mind the best strategy for most couples is to randomly get together every 1-3 days.